The Role of Forgiveness in Leadership
A few weeks ago, something happened that reminded me how central forgiveness is to strong leadership—not just as a personal value, but as a professional competency.
Someone bypassed protocol to raise a concern, and in doing so, brought with them frustration, intensity, and a tone that made it hard to hear their message.
I’ll be honest—at first, I was bothered. Not just by the intensity of the exchange, but by the decision to sidestep the normal process. It caught me off guard. And for a moment, I found myself wrestling with the very tension I coach others through:
Do I center the misstep or the human behind it?
That’s what leadership asks of us—again and again.
To pause, reflect, and choose a path that aligns with who we want to be—not just how we feel in the moment.
Time passed. Reflection took root. A message arrived with vulnerability, ownership, and a sincere desire to reset. Not every moment of conflict ends that way—but when it does, we’re offered a profound leadership opportunity.
Forgiveness.
Not the soft, sweeping kind that glosses over accountability. I’m talking about the brave kind—the kind that says: You’re more than your worst day. We can try again.
Forgiveness in leadership isn’t about forgetting what happened. It’s about choosing what you want to cultivate going forward. It’s about modeling maturity, not martyrdom. And it’s one of the most underestimated tools in building resilient, high-performing teams.
In my coaching work, I often remind leaders: Culture is shaped in the in-between moments. The hallway conversations. The apology emails. The decisions we make after the dust has settled. Do we punish vulnerability or reward growth? Do we hold a grudge or hold space?
The truth is, no team gets it right all the time. But great cultures aren’t built on perfection. They’re built on the courageous, messy, beautiful work of coming back to the table. Of saying, “Let’s talk it through. Let’s move forward.”
Forgiveness doesn’t mean we abandon boundaries or expectations. It means we choose wisdom over ego, and possibility over retribution.
And here’s something we don’t talk about enough:
Forgiveness isn’t just something we offer others—it’s something we must practice with ourselves.
Every leader has had a moment they wish they’d handled differently. A meeting where they lost their patience. A conversation they avoided. A decision they regret. The real question is: Can we acknowledge it, learn from it, and move forward without shame?
Self-forgiveness isn’t about lowering the bar—it’s about staying grounded in growth. When we lead ourselves with compassion, we model what resilience and repair look like for others.
If you’re navigating a tough moment with someone on your team—or with yourself—I invite you to reflect:
Where might forgiveness unlock progress?
How do you distinguish between forgiveness and enabling?
What tone are you setting for others who are watching how you lead through conflict?
These are the kinds of conversations we dive into in my leadership coaching and team culture work. Because strong teams don’t happen by accident—they happen by design.
Ready to build a culture rooted in courage, clarity, and grace? Let’s talk.
With gratitude and love,
Melisa